5. My swear jar is now worth more than my stock portfolio.
4. If you wear a face mask, your co-workers can't smell the alcohol on your breath.
3. Pre-employment drug tests are misleading. I didn't get to try any of them.
2. I might have a slight drinking problem. Wife asked me to toast some bread for her so I raised my wine glass and said "Here's to bread"
1. I've run out of entertainment during this lockdown, so I anonymously sent my neighbor flowers every Saturday evening with the message "I miss you". Then I go to my balcony with a drink and listen to his wife interrogate him. Pure entertainment!