Monday, May 18, 2020

Corruptor's Top Five Status Messages You May Have Missed Last Week May 18 2020

5.  My swear jar is now worth more than my stock portfolio.
4.  If you wear a face mask, your co-workers can't smell the alcohol on your breath.
3.  Pre-employment drug tests are misleading.  I didn't get to try any of them.
2.  I might have a slight drinking problem.  Wife asked me to toast some bread for her so I raised my wine glass and said "Here's to bread"
1.  I've run out of entertainment during this lockdown, so I anonymously  sent my neighbor flowers every Saturday evening with the message "I miss you".  Then I go to my balcony with a drink and listen to his wife interrogate him.  Pure entertainment!