Monday, April 20, 2020

Top Five Status Messages You May Have Missed This Past Week April 20, 2020


5.  Irony is a woman whose body is covered in tattoos, but won’t do anal because it hurts.

4.  In the Three Little Pigs, why didn't the wolf just set the stupid straw house and the stupid stick house on fire? He'd nabbed two out of the three pigs and his bacon would have been crispy.

3.  Just got pulled over by the police the officer said to me "sir I can smell alcohol"
I said "yes that's because you are not respecting social distancing."

2. Said she tasted like a rainbow....found out she meant trout not Skittles.

1.  Pissing in the shower doesn't make me filthy.  It just makes me efficient.