Monday, April 13, 2020

Top Five Status Messages You May Have Missed Last Week April 13

5.  We just bought 12 pounds of cheese.  Won't need toilet paper now.
4.  If you're gonna call the cops every time you spot me in the bushes, I don't think this relationship is going to work.
3.  Does anyone know how to get a cum stain off a mattress?  This sales rep from Ashley Furniture is threatening to make me buy it.
2.  I just Googled "The Best Things To Do In Europe" and your mom's name came up.
1.  Having sexual fantasies about your teacher is fine unless you're homeschooled.