Top Five Status Messages You May Have Missed This Past Week January 6th 2020
5. You say "premarital sex" like there's "postmarital sex"
4. I'm not saying I have a drinking problem, I'm proving it.
3. I sexually identify as that one flickering letter on the neon motel sign.
2. My new year's resolution is not to have sex with supermodels
1. I sent a tin of macaroni to Ethopia and I've just received a letter back saying thanks for the leg warmers.