Monday, December 23, 2019

Top Five Status Messages You May Have Missed In The Past Week December 23 2019

5.  When someone says "Surprise Me" I drop my pants immediately and start singing.

4.  I wish I could afford a drinking problem

3.  We were at the mall and I saw a guy with an eye patch.  My wife grabbed my arm and dragged me away before I could ask him if he had a wooden leg.

2.  I wonder if Nancy Pelosi uses a plastic dildo or a wooden one?

1.  Whilst on vacation in the USA, I dropped her load into the Grand Canyon. My wife really fucking hates it when I call her vagina that.