Top Five Status Messages You May Have Missed This Past Week June 24 2019
5. I never will understand why my fridge has a picture of a carot on the beer drawer.
4. I think the woman in my basement is obsessed with Beatles songs. Everytime I leave the house, I hear her singing "Help, I need somebody"
3. I just called my boss and told him I have explosive diarrhea. It's my day off but I like to keep him informed.
2. The fact that I'm considered an adult is both terrifying and hilarious
1. Hangman teaches kids that public execution is the only appropriate response to spelling words wrong.